Are you a grad student? Does it ever feel like you’re being quizzed on something you are supposed to know, but don’t? Do you ever catch yourself saying, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?” or “How was I ever supposed to know that?”
If so, you’re not alone. Grad school can feel like joining a secret society—everyone seems to know the unspoken rules, but no one gave you the handbook. Finding out these hidden norms can seem like a frustrating scavenger hunt. This experience, often accompanied by a healthy dose of imposter syndrome, is a common thread in the grad school journey. In her book, A Field Guide to Grad School: Uncovering the Hidden Curriculum, sociologist Jessica McCrory Calarco identifies several aspects of academia that can be mystifying to students, from navigating the dissertation process to understanding the unspoken expectations of departments and conferences. There are several key areas where knowing these unwritten rules can be particularly helpful. If you pay attention to them, you’ll find it much easier to navigate graduate
Find Out the Unwritten Rules of Your Specific Program
Dates, Times, and Norms: This goes beyond deadlines. Is there an unspoken expectation of attending Friday afternoon departmental seminars? Is there a timeline for sending chapters of your dissertation to your adviser and committee members? What about setting a defense date? Are there rules around that? Sometimes the graduate handbook for your entering year will address that, but you may want to make sure you have access to the updated version and that your specific committee members will know and understand that timeline. Pay attention to unspoken norms around communication, workload expectations, and departmental culture.
Hidden Curriculum of Coursework: Sometimes, professors might expect you to have a foundational knowledge that isn’t explicitly stated in the syllabus. Are there people you can ask for insights on what’s “really” expected in a specific course? Maybe there are grad students who are further along than you who have previously taken a course and can give you some helpful hints about where to place your focus and how to handle the professor. And if you ended up in the class without that foundational knowledge, is there anyone you can turn to for help?
Cultivate Relationships with Mentors
Although your advisor provides official guidance, building relationships with other professors both within and outside your department creates a valuable support network. These mentors can provide specific guidance on research topics, methodologies, or career paths. They can offer a fresh perspective on your work and help you identify areas for improvement, and they can advocate for you when you are applying for funding, awards, or job opportunities.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to professors whose research interests align with yours. Schedule meetings, be proactive in your communication, and show genuine interest in their work. Sometimes this means downloading and reading their most recent publications, and other times it means asking them what they are currently working on and how you can be a part of that journey. Investing in these relationships will benefit you both throughout and after graduate school.
Master the Art of Networking
Just being in grad school can be all-consuming, but don’t neglect the power of networking outside your university.
Target Professional Events and Conferences: Look for conferences, workshops, or industry meetups related to your field. These events offer opportunities to connect with professionals, learn about current trends, and even showcase your research. Strike up conversations, exchange information, and follow up with interesting contacts after the event.
Explore Online Communities: Join online forums, discussion boards, or professional social media groups relevant to your field. Actively participate in discussions, share your expertise, and connect with individuals working in your desired career path. These online connections can lead to collaborations, informational interviews, or even job opportunities.
Seek Mentorship Opportunities: Look for professional mentorship programs within your field, both inside and beyond academia. These programs connect you with experienced professionals who can offer valuable career guidance and insights. Don’t be afraid to reach out to professionals you admire on LinkedIn—many are happy to offer guidance to aspiring and emerging scholars.
Prioritize Professional Development—or NOT
There’s an unspoken pressure in grad school to be constantly “on” and attend every conference or workshop. However, balance is key. Figure out what aligns with your specific goals. Is presenting at a regional conference more valuable than attending a national one for your field? Is publishing a review essay worth the time and effort, or would your time be better spent drafting an article based on the research for your dissertation?
It’s important to keep the end goal in mind, especially because different paths may lead to drastically different outcomes. If you already know that you are planning not to continue as an academic, you might be better off searching for alternative careers and thinking about how to shape the rest of your graduate school experience towards one of those pathways. On the other hand, if your goal is to be a tenure-track professor at a Tier-1 research university, then accumulating publications and networking at conferences might take priority over teaching and service.
Or if you love teaching and don’t like research as much, you might want to consider what will make you an attractive candidate for teaching-centered universities, community colleges, or even careers within the K-12 sector. Early in graduate school, you may not know your end goal, but as you get deeper into the PhD, it’s important to think about where you want to end up. There is only so much time, and you really cannot do all the things.
Be Mindful of Departmental Politics
Finally, there are almost always unspoken power dynamics that simmer within a department. Sometimes those dynamics are just a natural byproduct of a healthy system, but other times, they can signal toxicity and deep dysfunction. Observe the informal hierarchies, the subtle decision-making processes, and the interpersonal dance between students and faculty or even between faculty and faculty. Does Professor A dislike Professor B? If so, maybe you shouldn’t ask them both to be on your dissertation committee. Is Professor C afraid of Professor D? Can you work with them both, or will that cause complications down the road if Professor C defers too much?
Learn your professors’ communication styles. Some prefer concise emails, whereas others might appreciate detailed progress reports. Tailoring your communication approach can make a big difference. This knowledge empowers you to navigate challenges and advocate for your needs with finesse.
Become a Savvy Student and Reduce Your Anxiety
The savvier you become about grad school and academia in general, the less anxious you’ll feel. Learning the unwritten rules of graduate school is like getting in a car and turning on an interactive map. As long as you know where you’re going, you will have the navigation software to get you there.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. Identify helpful professors and peers and those in the broader academic community you can turn to for guidance and support. You can do this—even if at first you didn’t get the memo or you didn’t have a map.
If you’re looking for a supportive community to help you navigate the complexities and stresses of dissertation and thesis writing, sign up for a free week of membership in The Academic Writers’ Space, or book a free consultation with our founder, Dr. Alison Miller.